I spent a bit of time thinking about who to contact as for some reason I interpreted this as a friend I have not been in touch with for a while. In other words I thought it was similar to Action 4. However as a result of that action earlier in the month, I have been back in touch with an old friend (I’ll call her Emma), and today we planned to talk together for the first time.

I was able to call Emma this afternoon and at least begin a catch up although we realise we have so much more to share. We have therefore arranged to spend a day together, also with our respective partners, in a few weeks.

I hope that I was ‘really listening’ to Emma but what does this mean? Browsing the internet I came across some suggestions in an article by Carolyn Kylstra. We know that both what we say and our body language are important to good communication. We can show the person that we are talking (and listening) to that we are paying attention in a number of ways. These include maintaining appropriate eye contact (a bit difficult on the phone of course), being empathic, noting what is said and remarking on it, sharing something about yourself, asking open questions, and of course finding common ground. As we spoke I was struck by Emma’s own skills of listening. She is also an excellent conversationalist.  And although for most of my professional life I’ve been a communicator/listener – as a psychologist, social worker, trainer, lecturer – it is always good to be reminded of what can make a difference.